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Monday, July 10, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

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WARNING: may contain spoilers, as I cannot control my inner Dame when she gets going.
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"Attention gels and boys, attention! Now, when you are all quite ready, we shall begin today's lesson. Today we shall be reviewing the movie 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.'

What's that, Mister Tibbs? Why yes, I do sound like Maggie Smith in 'The Prime of MIss Jean Brodie'. Yes indeed.
Correct, Miss Couper, I also sound like Maggie Smith in the 'Harry Potter' films. Well done, ten points to Griffindo...
Ahem.

As you have all hopefully remembered, your homework for the weekend was to study the movie and compare it to the Star Wars movies, notably the latest series of prequels. Now, can anyone tell me the main error the makers of Dead Man's Chest have made - bearing in mind the Star Wars prequels?

Yes Mister Tibbs? Having good rather than bad dialogue is indeed important, but that wasn't what I was thinking of.

Of course, of course, long fight scenes can be frightfully dull.

Yes, Mister McDowall, I too noticed the similarities between the tribal folk and the ewoks, noticeably the roasting of the God figure.

Indeed, scenes which appear to last forever and serve little purpose should be avoided.

A decent story arc? Beginning, middle and end? Yes, yes, those are important too but...

Mister McDowall! I simply will not tolerate that sort of language in my classroom! How dare you! Oh, I see, you said Gunguns. Well, I won't tolerate that language either, young man. Mind your manners.

No, gels and boys, what I was referring to was characterisation, and specifically the use of multiple characters. As you may remember, the Star Wars prequels appeared to include almost every character that Mr Lucas could remember having been in the original trilogy. Heavens, there were even ET's in there.

Now, the lesson we should all have learned from the new Star Wars films is this: that including all minor and major characters in a sequel/prequel is not an intelligent idea.

I beg your pardon, Mr Bruckheimer? Well, young man, what the studio wants the studio should not always get. No indeed.

As I was saying, one does not need to include every character from a film in it's sequel or prequel. How is one to ensure each character is treated with the proper respect? How can they all be fitted into a plausible story? How can they all be given meaningful dialogue?

I hope you see the problem we have facing us with Dead Man's Chest. Too many characters, too little characterisation. Of course, when the marvellous Mister Depp is on the screen the other characters hardly matter, I agree, but that does not change the lesson!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest receives a C+, could do better, must try harder next time."